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Friday, Mar. 28, 2003, 8:48 a.m.: open to me...

I had a really long talk yesterday night, over coffee, with a girl friend of mine. I met her through an old friend from high school, who I hooked back up with a/f like 9 years of not seeing him. When we met up again it turned out he was married and his wife was this really cool chick who I now consider to be a very good girl friend of mine. It was one of those huge bonding sessions, yesterday, where you end up finding out how fucking similar you are to one another. I mean, almost to the point of living parrallel lives...it was tripping me out. We shared some heavy shit, some of which she turned out to be still dealing with right now. We're both the type of people who don't like to reveal too much information to anyone. It's that idea that the more someone knows a/b you the easier they can fuck you over. Of course, we also realize how ridiculous it is b/c then you're confined to your own fucking prison where you can't share your joys, b/c eventually you'll have to share your fears and pains too. I feel lucky though to have been brought together with people who are on similar wave lengths, b/c ultimately that is what you must have. And while the opportunity for mind fuck is still there, @ least it's an equal distribution between the two of you. That's what makes it okay in a situation like this. So there we were, two self-destructive masochists sitting together, talking and loving in a coffee shop. Spilling our hearts out to each other, while the prissy bitches sitting beside us were shooting us dirty looks. While blondy was sitting and stealing glances @ us, b/c she was so jealous of our bonding experience, I was itching to just pounce on her and scratch her eyes out. B/c you know, I never did invite her into our conversation...but that's another story. When I think a/b it she's a strong girl, and I know she'll get through this. I'm glad I could be there to support her and listen. She said that I give off this vibe of total openness and understanding. That I made it very easy and she felt comfortable to open up to me...that she felt I wouldn't judge her or make her feel like an asshole. It's true, b/c really I can relate to people's pains much easier than I can relate to people's happiness. I was going to go out to a club with her that night, but I really wasn't in the mood. Next time though...for sure.

Love, CAT xXx