rings email host

Wednesday, Mar. 05, 2003, 9:18 a.m.: remember that old fable...

I just received an e-mail this morning for a call-back I have on Friday. Turns out that myself and my girlfriend (acting bud) will be competing for the same role. It's cool that we're both good enough to get the role, but now it's gonna be a bit of a cat fight. There's one more chick whose out for the same part also, so it's a one in three chance for all of us. Ahh, we'll see what happens with it. Tomorrow I've got another audition for a really controvercial short film. I'm trying for the part of a real bicth. I mean that in the strongest sense of the word...this chick is one truly fucked up bitch!

I woke up this morning to 15 cm of snow. Do you know how depressing it is to see 15cm in March, and we're suppose to expect 10 more during the day. It took me almost an hour to make a normal 10 minute drive to work. Yes, lovely isn't it. Well things could be worse. I could still be in my fucked mind/emotional mood again today...which I've recovered from. I visited a girlfriend yesterday, who shares my wacky mind-set and it made me feel so much better. She can bring me down and ease my mind when I need her too, and I can do it for her. She's an awesome awesome friend...I don't know what I'd do w/o her.

I got four resumes and pics returned to me. A bit of rejection, but they all wrote me a note telling me they weren't expanding their roster right now. Still means that 30 packages are out there. So that's a bit of a ray of light for me. I got calls from 3 agencies that when I looked them up (something I failed to do b/f, like I should have) they all had BAD shit mentioned a/b them by other actors in the community. Tursday I'm going to call a/r to check what's up with the rest of the 'good ones'. Tonight is my Theatre group meeting. I think we're still reading parts and auditioning more people. I'm gonna end up late cause I HAVE to go to the gym first. I can't miss that shit tonight! My brain may need a bit more stabalizing, you know. I think I've already pissed some people off with my erratic mental patterns...whatever. It takes work to be a somewhat stable person, I can't help that I slip up every now and then. It's easier sometimes, more than others, to set me off. I can turn on anyone is an instant and I realize that it may not be right or even fair, but it's something I haven't yet learned to stop. Hey, it'll come in time...that's all. If there's anything I've learned so far it's that I can't force anything. Everything is to some extent out of my control, and that's okay with me. Eventually what I want and need will come to me, will be with me, will be harnessed. I believe that. Patience and persistance...or slow and steady wins the race. Yes.

Love, CAT xXx