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2002-05-30, 9:05 a.m.: inventory...

It was my sweetie pie sister's b-day yesterday. She was really happy when she opened her gifts...of course, who wouldn't be. I in turn was happy to see her that way. It's better when I go back to my parents place now. Everyone is in a much more positive mood. Fuck, was it really me who was the tyrant?

I got half the dishes done yesterday @ home. I don't know why I get so worked up when the place looks messy. I mean, why do I really worry a/b it. I should just be enjoying my time and I choose to turn it into a tense situation. It's just so hard for me to sit down and relax in a place that looks so not together. Well, @ least I've got things halfly under control there. We got some new curtains form a friend's mother, who is really into helping us out. She's even starting to cook extra food so that we can take the left overs. I thought it was nice of her...my family doesn't even do that for me.

I've got rehearsal tonight. Again, I have to make sure I know ALL my lines cause I'll be up on stage tonight. Yeah, I'll be seriously going over them again, and again, and agian today here on my break time. The group is becoming much friendlier. There are always the people you connnect with more so than others in every sitation. They just happen to be two guys (one's gay), a 14 year old girl and the director. Fuck...it's cool with me.

Summer schedule for the gym has all been fucked up. Now only Mon, Wed, and Saturday classes are being held. I think it will work out with my schedule. I'm thinking of taking Monday's class @ 6:30 and then being a/b 15 mins late for acting, cause it'll conflict with it. Most people walk in 15 mins late anyways. I realized that not only is working-out my 'drug' but it's also the one thing that can ground me. As long as my work-out is in my schedule it totally grounds me body and mind. SO you know what that means...we're stuck together for life.

I really want to go dancing soon. Like very fucking soon. I'm thinking this Friday I should go. I got VIP for this awesome club Friday nights and I haven't been there yet on a Friday. From what I heard, it sounds killer compared to Saturday nights. I also have to clean up my routines for the workshop cause it's in 2 weeks. I need to make sure it's perfectly together...or as long as it's outlined, it will flow naturally. Since my place wii be occupied this Friday there's no point me going there to do it. This Sunday will be my day to clean it all up and have it set. Then all next week I'll practise it and get the music and everything dubbed and ready. I think that's a good schedule. Hopefully my boy will be on night shift, by then, so I'll have time alone to do it...time alone and SPACE. Well, I'm off.