Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2005, 3:15 p.m.: stress...

It just keeps getting better. Can you smell the sarcasm there? Uhm so basically, my family has been stressing me out still. I hate feeling like their approval is the end all and be all to my happiness. It's really a negative cycle to have to get out of, and a hard one @ that. Anyways, every day that goes by, it does get easier...so that's good. I feel more grounded in my decisions and less hurt by their lack of approval. The most recent attempt to disuade my choice was to get the priest involved...ya, the PRIEST!!! I was raised a Catholic but I am by no means, a text-book 'Catholic'. I believe in God, and I'm spiritual, and I have my set of principles, that correlate with alot of the teachings, but there are just some things [major integral things] that I disagree with. So my Mother, who is close to her parish priest, went to seE him and got him to write me a lengthy email a/b the 'negatives' involved with marrying outside my 'faith'. He basically gave me two options, either convert him or my life is doomed...oh, and moving in together [b/f marriage] is the biggest sin of all. As if not living together would stop us from having sex, like come on...what the hell are they thinking? Anyways, I responded to him by telling him that it is my wish to be married in a Catholic church but, ONLY to please my parents and, NOT @ the expense of my realtionship with K. I also told him that ultimately, if the church was going to surround us with such negative antics then we would rather be married somewhere where we will be accepted for who [and what] we are...two people joining together, in eternal love, who come from different religious backgrounds. Some serious drama I'm sure is going on within my family right now. My Mom now wants to go 'to lunch' with me, to lecture me some more a/b my decisions. Yippie.

In work news, I just got seriously chinced today by my co-worker. She stole one of my prospective clients, while I was trying to learn a new sell with him. I know she doesn't owe me anything and the early bird gets the worm, or what-ever-the-fuck, but being that she expects a certain degree of courtesy in this office by others towards her, I would have thought she'd be the one to give it in return. She knows I'm learning to write a new product and she knew I was working on it with this one particular guy, but she still chose to fuck me over when she thought my head was turned. I'm going to bring it up @ our next meeting, I figure that's the best way to deal with it...let everyone know, so she wont try it again. Next time she'll have to be a little more sneaky a/b it, but I'll catch that one too...I always do. Anyways, I need to just do my job and sell/write as much as I can. Next time I will verbalize who I am currently working with to make it more clear.

So we've got all of our furniture choices chosen. We're lucky b/c we have the luxury of being able to purchase all new stuff for our place. Mind you, we are still being totally cost effective and practical. I picked up 2 lamps yesterday, that I scored @ reduced prices. They're beautiful but were missing lamp shades, so they reduced them to $25 each. The original price was marked as $70 each, and $120 if sold in a regular dept store. They are going to look amazing and I know I can find some great lamp shades, sold seperately, for some really good prices. I'm excited to decorate!!

Fucking asshole director did end up apologizing to me for his bitch-ass tone, but has now been sending me [and the rest of the cast] emails chronicalling how much $$ will be needed, and how much has been spent, to continue the project. He claims he's so broke but my girlfriend happened to spot him @ some lounge over the weekend, chatting it up with a group of chicks, buying them drinks and dressed in a SUIT!! Okay there, can we say 'try hard' and LIAR?!?! So today he sends us another email, telling us how he hasn't paid Feb's rent yet and how he's getting worried b/c he'll need 'this and this' much $$ to do 'this and this'. I'm like, FUCK YOU buddy!!! I haven't written him back but he is so full of shit, I can smell it from here. I'm not going to respond to him again ever, I don't think. What a fucking ass!!!!

On a positive note, my K and I picked up our collars over the weekend. We put them to good use all night Sunday. I cannot tell you how hot he looks in that thing!!! It's really indescribeable. He also bought this cute cowboy style hat, that we both decided made him look like a stripper, so he's reserving it for 'C and K' time. Fuck, that man is so awesome!!!