2002-10-16, 9:27 a.m.: foot in...

My stomach hurts like hell today. I'm stricken with the bitch who is my monthly visitor. I mean, once a month she drops by and gives me hell and then leaves so quietly I hardly even knew she was there. How nice of her.

Tonight I am going to the call-back for the play I auditioned for last week. I have a quick audition first and then I have to drive through traffic to get to where the call-back will be. I'm wondering if I'll even get there in time.

I got to get out to the gym yesterday First time in almost 2 weeks, and it's amazing how much cardio power you loose. My chest was fucking killing me! I was all wired and jittery b/f getting there, I thought I was a/b to go and drop an 'e' or some shit. As far as muscle power goes, I still got that...thank fuck.

Today is a gloomy gloomy day. I am not impressed @ all. My wrists are giving me a feeling of swolleness...is that a damn word? I'm realizing that I have no drama in my life right now. Can you imagine that? Aside from it being slightly boring to the average on looker, cause I'm trying to concentrate so much on auditioning and all that shit. I don't feel like it's boring, although my sex life has been non-existant for 4 months. Okay, that realization is very upsetting to me. If I push it to 6 months I'm going to have a break down...I know it! Yea, it may be challenging to see how long I can go w/o it...IT being sex with another person. I am not ready or willing to take that challenge on. Anything else, but that...although, I'm sure it would be a good lesson for me.

I'm hooking up with my vocal coach again. She's in the process of buying a studio a/r my area and she wants me to be her lead dance instructor. She's in the business of traning and developing talent right now and I want in. She said I can go with her and watch how the recording process works any time I want. I want to learn everything there is a/b this. I'm still going to sing with her too. Is this a foot in the door I see? Why I think it is.

Love, CAT XXX