2002-05-23, 10:23 a.m.: fucking whip-lash...

Well, I had to leave early yesterday cause my head was throbbing so much I thought it was going to bust off my neck. I was under the impression that it was stress and I was terribly worried that I was just not going to last much longer mentally. So I made a dr appt to see what the fuck was up. The doctor told me that I had whip-lash...and did I do anything overly strenuous? Well duh...I must have pulled the shit out of my neck on Saturday. She said that with whip-lash or any muscle pull, it takes a/b three days to reach it's peak and then it begins to slowly get better. Yesterady was my peak day. SO now knowing that I kept my head and neck still for the rest of the night, trying not to bend it too much. I went home took 2 advils , watched t.v., went to bed early and woke up feeling a hell of alot better. I'm still stiff today, but it's not the killer pain I was experiencing a day ago. Thank god it wasn't stress cause I was getting worried. If stress was doing THAT to me I was ready for a break-down. So no, I'm not mentally fragile I'm just muscularly fragile right now. No wonder I was feeling it all over my face too, cause all youR muscles extend over your head to your face. I feel so sorry for anyone who has to suffer through this pain cause it's almost unbearable. Actually, if you keep your head straight and don't move it a/r too much it's manageable...otherwise you are seriously fucked. For three days I was trying to stretch it out cause I thought it was tension. I was just making it worse.

I got to watch 'China' fight Joey Buttafucco (sp, who gives a fuck it's Joey) yesterady in a celebrity boxing match. Fucker was throwing her a/r more that he was punching her...it was pathetic really. He was so worried a/b losing. Actually he's a fucking abuser anyways, I'm sure he manhandles women all the time. It was pretty funny though to watch...I must say. T.V. has gotten really ridiculous. The only show that was worth my viewing eyes was that magic guy. I forget his name right now, but he's the one who does all those crazy stunts and unbelievable magic tricks. He is absolutely amazing! Also another women, I watched, whom I totally admire is Sheryl Crow...I always liked her but I developed a new fondness of her and her character a/f watching her bio. She's so simple and calm...almost calming, yet so complicated...and smart, very smart. There was a point where she was explaining how the gap in time really doesn't exist and how the past and the future is just one constant continuation that just overlaps, and overlaps. She was trying to explain how all her songs seem relevant to her when she reads them, no matter when she reads or listens to them. I could so relate to her rationale, it's something I would have said. I really admire her and everything she's accomplished through her career. I have a new inspiration now. I'm going to go out and buy her new c.d. today.

Love, CAT XXX