Thursday, Nov. 11, 2004, 4:20 p.m.: good byes...

Well, I did it!! I finally passed that exam...the one I've been studying for, for like the last freaking 2mths. My fault tho b/c I got the books a/b 90 mths ago and never bothered to look @ them until September. I had even passed the expiry date...in other words, I was passed the time limit given to study and actually PASS the thing. They cut me a break and allowed me to re-write the test...$80 later. I still have the govt exam to complete tho now...I'll try to write that one in 3 weeks time and again I will have to do more studying. I just want to make sure that I pass with HIGH marks. I should call them. So, that aside I can now get my pay increase. I'll have more $$ to save for my [our] LA fund and just more $$ in general.

I spent Friday to Wednesday with K. He's been so good with accomodating my studying. Tuesday and Wed he dropped me off @ the library and went a/b his biz while I studied there for hours. Finally yesterday, when I got in the car after my exam he had a present waiting for me. Regardless of whether I pass or fail he is always so positive and encouraging. This time I had good news for him though and he surprised me with Britney's new 'curious' perfume. I'd been eyeing it for a while, spraying it on me everytime I saw it...I really took to the scent [even tho I don't quite like B]. He was so proud of me...and I was so happy to have passed. We went to R's b-day get-together after, stayed for a while and then went home to lay down together. We both caught some kind of bug and were exhausted with head-aches. R's thing was okay but K doesn't like him very much. He knows all a/b our past together and a/b how I was very attached to him. He wants me to be open and honest and I feel much better telling him what was going on between us...when I don't, I feel like I'm hiding something bigger than it is. R emailed me today, and took notice to the fact that he and K will never be 'friends'. He did his whole 'goodbye to us' thing...the same thing I did to him when he got together with his girlfriend [ex now]. We're very fucking dramatic, the two of us. I understand that things will never be the same but that's the way it goes. It's unfortunate that we had to 'say goodbye' to each other to finally be on a truthful level, but I guess that just shows how NOT right we were for one another romantically. Anyways, he likes to be the one on top and I don't think he ever felt that he could be with me...so I'll give him the whole 'goodbye' thing. I still think we make great 'friends' though...he's like a girlfriend to me.

I've got another audition tomorrow...got it from my agent today. It's for a host position and I'm not that enthused a/b doing that kind of work on tv, but I'll go out for the audition while I can. There's a shit-load of things I have to prepare for the audition and I get to be 'creative'. It's for a teens show so I have to gear myself towards that market...shouldn't be too hard. I just have to think a/b what my 10yr old sister likes. Speaking of my 10yr old sister. I can't even speak with her on the phone to set plans up with her..I have to talk thru her manager [my mother]. Fuck, it's getting annoying...she can't be that damn busy. Sunday we've got plans to go out shopping together. If I get her in time, I'm going to take her to the Santa Clause parade too, with K.

Okay, days almost done and I'm going to get out of here. I'm going to a script writing open question session tonight with my girlfriend. We're working on a script together and need some added inspiration. It's 5 bucks so it'll be well worth it, no matter what we get. ;)