Friday, Jul. 23, 2004, 9:36 a.m.: movin' on...

Had a very interesting day/night, with two great guys. It's been a long time since I've been treated so decently. Not that I've been treated like shit in the past, but I've dealt with alot of guys who, in my opinion, didn't know how to deal with women...or just me, maybe, specifically. The first boy of the evening is awesome...we click really fucking well and we had a great time together. He can totally handle my crazy wacky irrational behavior and for someone who I thought would be completely nuts he's very controlled and is able to stabalize my weirdness. He's also bold and very sexual and isn't intimidated by me, so far. I had to literaly do nothing with him, he took care of the whole evening, planned everything, totally took care of my every need. Very much a gentleman. I think what totally impressed me was how he just absorbed everything I threw @ him...nothing fazed him. I feel like he's got a dark past that he's keeping under wraps for now, that's the impression I get of him. Like soon I'm going to find out some very heavy information a/b him. He's a cusp baby too...he's Scorpio/Sag and I'm Sag/Capricorn. If I was a hard-core believer, which I am to an extent, I would say that's why we get along so well. Not only are we both cusp people but our signs are compatible with a touch of that crazy Sagitarian essence mixed in there. I think the only thing that worries him a/b me is that he thinks I can't be faithful to one person, if we were to get involved. We sort of have different ideas on what is considered cheating. My worry with him is that he would want to control me in certain aspects. I don't think I'm down with that. The other good thing a/b us is that we're both aspiring actors. While that can get fucked @ times, it can also be interesting...from a tortured actor perspective. He lived and worked in LA for 6 yrs and he wants me to go and visit with him there, @ the end of summer, to show me a/r. We made plans to hook up again this coming Wed, b/f we both leave for the month of August. This would be a good experience with this one.

Boy number 2, also great. It took him a while to get comfortable with me. He was a little intimidated @ first, I could sense. I was a bit frazzled b/c I was late getting to him and it was pouring rain. He didn't have the same ease in calming me, I almost took him for a ride. We hung out @ this bar for a while and as we got to talking I started to dig into his way of thinking. He's very interesting b/c he sees the world in the way I do...he's very heady and psychological which I like. He's a director and he completely understands how an actor works. He challenges my perception of myself and how I relate to the world. I feel like I know that he's in my life to hone my own skills in dealing with everything in my life and a/r me. I wasn't very attracted to him though. He talks a/b sex from a cerebral persepective. I think he would be a great friend and party buddy. We already planned our next night out...it includes drugs though. That's another thing, he's still very experimantal which I'm not sure is a good thing for me to get into again. Once in a while okay but even that's pushing it, I think. Boy#1 does NO drugs, doesn't drink or smoke, which is a much better influence for me. The funniest thing a/b boy#2 is that he too is a cusp baby...this time he's Libra/Virgo. I've been meeting so many cusp born people that it's beginning to freak me out. I've been told that only cusp borns can really understand each other fully and that all of us and fucked in the head, more so that any other signs...probably b/c there's so much of that duality going on. Okay so this was a total boy dominated entry...fuck, it's a/b time I guess. It's time to move on forward.