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Friday, Feb. 20, 2004, 9:40 a.m.: entering...

For some reason, for the last week, I've been a week ahead of myself. You think that doesn't make any sense...let me explain it to you. I have two things that need to be done on the 28th...one being an audition, the other a marketing meeting. I was convinced that both those things were to be done this coming Saturday. I had two different people set me straight on them. Then this Thursday [yesterday] I was convinced that I had to go to this screening with a girlfriend of mine...until she informed me that it wasn't until next Thursday. How she knew that and I didn't is funny b.c I'm the one who sent her the invite. Now, why a I week ahead of myself?? I don't know...but I find it a bit strange. Even the Oscars I was convinced would be on this Sunday...but they're not on till the 29th...next Sunday. Where did my mind miss a whole week?

I'm finally over my wretched bladder infection. Yesterday I was tired of swallowing my pills [I have a bit of a phobia] and I crushed it up and spread it on my bagel and cream cheese. HUGE MISTAKE that was!!!! I nearly gagged on the thing and I had to leave the last corner of it b.c it was just too fucking nasty!! I went back to just biting the bullet and attempting the swallow. I must admit that I am getting better. I use to chew all my food into such small pieces b.c I had this irrational fear that some little corner would make me choke to death. I know, it doesn't make any sense...hence the irrational part. So now I'm up to swallowing tylenol sized pills which is a very good progression for me. Today [this morning to be exact] was my last pill...so I'm done now!! The funny part a.b today's swallow was that I broke the pill in half and the bigger side I swallowed w.o a problem. The smaller side though, got me scared and so I kept swishing it in my mouth with my hot tea, dissolving it bit by bit until I was comfortable swallowing it. So I'm still a tad irrational! Oh well...what can you do?!

Now I have a sore throat today and I feel like I have the beginning of a cold coming on. Sucks!! I had stopped taking my vitamin c pills in the last week and sure enough I get sick. Those things really do work people...take them religiously in the colder months. I hope it's better for tomorrow b.c I'm going out dancing again. Not to my usual place though...boohoo...I have to pull myself away from baretender boy...make him wonder where the fuck I went. A bunch of us are going out for my girlfriend's b-day. I think we're going to this snobby club, so I get to ignore everyone a.r me and find myself another hottie..ha...a baretender preferrably.

I'm also getting my tattoo tomorrow. It's going on my lower back and it's symbolic of the new cycle I'm entering into. I'm getting the Egyptian sundisk with the eye of Horus just above it. It's going to be beautiful. It's a symbol of the phoenix, the solar eclipse, and of new beginnings and rebirth. The boy is coming with me, so he can hold my hand. Actually it will probably be me holding his hand since he can't stand pain on himself or watching it on anyone else, apparently. I don't believe him, but whatever...I think he'll be turned on by it. I will! He's been a huge part of my life, and of my moving into this new sphere, so it's a tribute to me and us.

<3 ~CAT~ xXx

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