Friday, Jan. 30, 2004, 10:25 a.m.: a new day...

I am turning over a new leaf here. Fucking stupid sayings I use, ha!! It's really going to be me focussing on me, in a postive way. I'm not going to get all self-absorbed and selfish and bicthy. It's a/b time though that I get it together and am really true to myself, my needs, wants, feelings. This is part of my self progression plan. Growing...I have to always make sure I'm growing and moving forward. Hey, I'm allowed to fuck up...I'm still learning how to listen to my 'voice inside', as X-tina would put it. Life is never what you expect it to be.

On that great note, I have an audition next week for a new run of the Vagina Monologues. It should be an interesting audition and an even better show, if I get it. I'm determined to book a staged production...something that I can invite agents to, if need be. I have to re-focus all my energy into this acting thing, seriously. Enough is enough. It's time I'm more practical and I just grow the fuck up some more.

I got a message from my girlfriend from Portugal yesterday. She's there, for who knows how long, and I was worried that I wouldn't hear from her, but she finally got a computer and she dropped me a note. We're planning on taking off to somewhere warm soon. I've never actually gone on a vacation with a bunch of my girlfriends...why I have no fucking idea!!! I guess since being involved for so long with my ex and sort of getting stuck in that rut, I never seriously considered it. Now is a good time though. I just want to eliminate unwanted, or unnecessary, stress from my life. I cannot handle all this tension...it's gonna kill me one day!

<3 ~CAT~ xXx