Thursday, Dec. 18, 2003, 9:34 a.m.: It's a boy...

I've never had anyone straight up call me a drama queen b/f. I always knew that I felt things deeper than normal, and that it felt like the end of the world to me when something new, unexpected and seemingly out of my control was a/b to happen. I use to hate change with a passion. I never relized though that it was just me being 'melodramatic', and why is there even a fucking label on deep rooted emotions??? Not only that, but it trivializes the whole thing. I realize I'm a bit of an over-reactor and I'm trying to work on balancing that out. I've gotten much better though, if I compare myslef to my younger days. It's a tough feat though and some days are better than others for me still. I apreciate it when people are straight up with me, even though I may not accept it @ first.

Yesterday I was being pulled in so many different directionsthough, I thought I was very close to cracking. My Father was being more difficult than usual, my Mother was her normal freakish self, my Grandmother and her neurosis was driving me to drink, and my alcoholic Uncle had the nerve to tell me I was acting like an elitist with him. Which I freaked out to...I mean, he had some nerve saying that shit to me when he calls here and expects the world to stop for him and his sorry drunk ass. How the fuck am I suppose to deal with his royal highness?!?! I was fuming!! The boy was taking stabs @ me, probably for something that didn't please him a/b my attitude or some shit. Then my Aunt, who WAS pregnant, needed me to take care of her 2 yr old son...so I had to grab him from day care and do the babysitting thing till 4am this morning. Mind you, playing with him was the highlight of my day/night. He really took the pressure off and he's such a sweetheart with me...it was very cool. Today I'm hoping to get all the shit out of my mind and clear it the fuck out. It was a tad too much for me and by 11pm my mind was mush. As for my sleep, it was pretty shitty. I thought someone would be back @ their place by 12.30am so I took a nap on one of the chairs, but when 12.30am rolled a/r all I had was a sore neck and a twisted back. I moved then to the love seat, curled up in a ball and figured that when the door opened I'd hear them and just leave, since I was lying right by the front door practically. 3.30am came and I decided that if I was going to get a decent enough sleep I would have to be stretched out somehwere, so I moved to the big couch downstairs. Sure enough, no longer than 20mins later they pulled up. I got up and deliriously got dressed and took off to my own bed @ home. The new baby was born @ 12.30am December 18th...9lbs, and is a boy. Cute.

<3 ~CAT~ xXx