Tuesday, Dec. 02, 2003, 9:49 a.m.: babies...

I was @ my girlfriend's place last night, and she's pregnant. It's strange seeing her now b/c it feels like she's matured over the last 4 mths. Not too sure if it's just my perception of things or if the whole process mentally ages you. She looks beautiful though and it kinda makes me look forward to one day being able to carry a baby too. I remember being really little and always imagining being pregnant...I thought it was a very beautiful state to be in. I can also remember it being very sexual to me too. Don't ask how I related the two that early, I guess I just had good instincts. To this day I still see it the same way...it's very erotic...swollen belly, swollen breasts. I swore up and down that I never wanted kids, when I was with my ex, but you know, it was a total lie. I'd like to have kids in my thirties, I think. I know that's when I could handle the responsibility w/o going nuts. There are things I want to do b/f that though. She's got this cat though that's been with her for a/b 8 years, maybe a bit less. Anyways, he's always been very jealous of anybody that comes in and takes over her time. First it was her husband who he was envious of, but he's since gotten over that. Now, it looks like he's become extremely possesive over her b/c he knows she's going to have a baby. He was sitting on her lap last night and all of a sudden when she tried to move he started hissing @ her and then jumped @ her face. He would've bit her too if she hadn't pushed him off in time. It looks like he's become a serious hazard b/c if he can turn on her like that, imagine what he'd do to a little baby. The're going to get rid of him and it may not turn out well either, b/c he's pretty much an asshole...nobody can stand him. Total behavioural problems. She's very attached to him so it's going to be hard to let him go, but I think she should really take into consideration the safety of her and the baby. I don't believe I would think twice a/b it, but she's use to his attitude and she's let it go b/f. They've got another cat, but she's really well behaved and she's blind. The only thing with her is that she shits outside of her litter box and the fumes are also deadly to the baby inside and outside of her. They have to get rid of her and tried to pawn her off on me but as much as I love the little thing, b/c she's so sweet, I can't keep her. She's such a good little kitty though, very good natured...I'm going to miss her for sure when she goes.

<3 ~CAT~ xXx