Tuesday, Sept. 16, 2003, 9:15 a.m.: fucking fucked...

So, I've been presented with a couple decisions. I had planned to go to Africa in February of this coming year. I have a girlfriend who has family there and can put us up for free basically. Africa...such a beautiful place to visit. Now, yesterday I got a phone call from this boy [who is very very very special to me]. He has been thinking of going down to LA, a/r February, to audition for all the new shows that are trying to get off the ground. He asked me if I would go too. Now I had already been thinking a/b it, but our situation is slightly complicated in that we aren't just platonic friends, and I didn't want to be imposing by asking [or rather telling him] I wanted to go too. So, I have a great opportunity to go and check LA out with close friends, making the experience alot safer. Instead of me taking off by myself @ a later date. I really want to go!!! So if everything works out properly...I think I'll be going early next year. How exciting!!!

Things can change so quickly you know...well, actually they don't change that fast it's just that you lose touch with all that's happening and b/f you know it...BAM...it's all upside down. For example, I haven't spoken to a girlfriend of mine who just informed me that she's taking off to Europe for good. She's leaving with the guy she's 'dating'...he's really sick and has just seperated from his wife. She's just going to leave...leave everything she's ever known behind and go with him. Who knows when I'll see her again. Not to mention that I probably wont speak to her much while she's gone either. It's so fucked. I kept hearing this quote while I was away shooting that film up north... 'Life, is what happens when you're making other plans'. Yea, I think that's how it goes...maybe a Bob Dylan quote or something. Fucked!

Love, CAT xXx