Tuesday, Mar. 25, 2003, 8:48 a.m.: pass it a/r...

I've been noticing that gas prices have dropped drastically within the last week. I'm not complaining, I'm just curious as to why that might be. Hmmm...yea, I wonder why! It may sound bad, but I haven't been watching and following the 'war on Iraq'. I don't like war and it's a tad too chilling for me to grasp. Whenever I hear a/b it on the radio I get chills and it becomes very evident @ how real we really are...how easily we can hurt and kill each other. How human and fragile we are. It's disturbing b/c while it can be so beautiful it can also be so cruel. All I know is that the motivations for the US heading in there are not valid. To restore order to a region and rid a country of a terrible tyrant could have been accomplioshed many other ways...I'm sure. There are always other ways to do anything. Many different roads to a goal, but when greed is in your mind I guess you resort to the fast, quick and easy. Cause it's easy to just drop bombs and shit on a country and flex your dominant muscles in bullying a region. Unfortunately the repurcussions may not be that easy to deal with b/c you know, who the fuck knows now what could happen. Alot of people are pissed and alot of people are jealous too. I know very well that authority figues while on top one minute are alwasy @ risk. You never know when that power structure will be toppled, but that I guess, is just the nature of the beast. You know how we can help this situation and those in the future...it's by living in the now and treating everyone a/r you with fairness (including yourself). Get the fuck over yourself!Surround yourself with your equals. I don't know what the hell I'm trying to say here, but if you can deal with those a/r you with understanding and respect I think it would create a ripple effect and change the state of our being. I have hope for the future though...I do. Okay I think I've rambled on enough here.

My coffee pot here is broken. I'm waiting for a new one and b/c of that I didn't make morning coffee. But, I think I'm going to just tape up the spout again (it's chipped) and brew a pot. Cause I am dying for my morning caffeine fix. It's hurting me just to think a/b it. I'm kinda over my shitty day on Sunday, although the way I 'work' in and with a scene is still infesting my mind. I spoke to a highly acclaimed teacher yesterday, whom I'm going to try out in a few weeks as my new coach. I swear, once I find the one who can speak to me in my language I am never letting him/her go. M.R. is amazing with me...he can get the relationship out of me so quickly that I don't even know what's happened. That's what I love a/b him. He's so demanding and he makes you see your part for what it is. No flowering it, no pretty language...just straight forward basics. And I have no time to think and ponder and get wrapped up in the analyzing, it's just my direct response from the gut. But, he's an actor too and he has his own craft to perfect so I can't depend on him all the time. I'm crossing my fingers though re: this new teacher. I'm going to go audit a class of his next Thursday. I need this so badly right now.

Love, CAT xXx