Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2003, 2:22 p.m.: long day already...

I had an audition in the city this morning. It went alright I think. I went on film yesterday in my acting class and my performance was sort of....well, not emotional enough. It was funny b/c I am ususally very animated and emotional, but when I was put infront of the camera I don't know what happened. Actaully yes I do! I was playing my character as if she was hiding her feelings of anger and animosity towards her sister (my partner), and on film the audience needs to see the conflict actually play out. It's not like real life where you sort of need to control yourself (which I have a hard time doing anyways). I found it very ironic actually that I worked that way. Anyways, I just have to re-arrange my performance and feelings on film to be more raw...like I am in real life! My character was also more complex than my partner's. So next week I have to play it very emotionally. I mean shit this is why I love acting so much, b/c of the freedom you have to express yourself w/o actually getting in shit. Shouldn't be too hard. My acting coach told me yesterady that the camera loves me. I was like 'Yea, cool!'. He kept watching and going 'Wow, you are so interesting to watch'. Then I started getting modest. He told me that I read very vulnerable on screen, which surprised the hell out of me b/c I've been getting all these bitchy parts. He also said that I am very 'sexy' on screen and that I should remember and be aware of these things. It was nice to hear.

I stopped off to see a friend too and we had lunch together. Then I got lost on my way home b/c I have no sense of direction sometimes...but, I made it back! Tonight it's the gym and then I'm meeting up with a friend, I met in my Theatre group, to work on a script. We're changing a male character into a female one. I get to play the bitchy head honcho of a movie production company. I've never done actual writing for this sort of thing b/f so it's going to be a total learning experience. I'll tell you how it goes. We were suppose to have a Theatre rehearsal, but it got post-ponned for some reason. I guess she's still figuring out who will play what. Oh ya, while I was dwontown today I bought (from a cool ass candy store) this James Dean lunch box. It's so fucking adorable!!!! I wish I could show it to you. I wanted the Wonder Woman one, but I like James Dean and my sister always says I'm James Dean re-incarnated so you know...symbolic. So, I've still gotta go back down tomorrow to check out auditions and pick up my pics from the lab. Oh, and drop off an aplication form for this class I want to take for my next set of lessons. Lots to do!!

Love, CAT xXx