Tuesday, Jan. 21, 2003, 9:16 a.m.: my most vulnerable...

I'm back, but not exactly in great shape. I was sick for 3 days and still feel delirious. It all started Saturday morning when I woke up with my blotchy eye. 'Blotchy eye' is the beginning to a severe migraine for me. I tried to fight it off and I went to my vocal lesson like usual. A/f that I thought it had gone away, but I had this slight pressure still in my head that was driving me mad. Normally I would have to go to bed or sit in darkness until is subsided, but I couldn't. I had to get to a dance class where I was meeting up with my dancers. An hour and a half of that torture and then off to my dance space where we all practised for 3 more hours. We got the dance finished, but throughout I could feel my sanity slipping. I could hardly concentrate and focus on what was being said, mind you I could still dance. When I got home I ate a bit, which was my first real meal of the day, and then went to see a girl-friend of mine. @ her place her Mother had made caesar salad (my favorite) and ordered chinese food...so of course I go and eat a bit of each. BIG MISTAKE!!!! I didn't feel it until a/b 2am in the morning, my stomach just wouldn't allow the usual digestive process and I was praying to the porcelain god until 5am. Took everything out of me and by the next morning when I woke up I was almost dead. I felt like someone had kicked the shit out of me and left me on the road in the freezing cold for dead. Every part of me was sore and aching...I just wanted to die. And I refuse to take asprin cause I can't swallow the damn things, plus I figured I wouldn't keep it down anyways. So yea, that was my brutal w/e. I missed my pictures yesterday cause I was still not well. It's going to put me back another week or so in my schedule...PISS ME OFF!!! I'm still weak and shit right now. I'm stumbling alot and I can't quite get it together yet. Yes, this is me @ my most vulnerable.

Love, CAT XXX