Monday, Jan. 13, 2003, 8:54 a.m.: ME again...

Another freezing cold day out. I switched up my gloves, finally, b/c the ones I'd been using are fucking useless!! I got a pair of nice soft warm ones for X-Mas, but hadn't put them into use yet. We'll see how they do.

I had a busy ass w/e. Finally got to practising the dance sequence that I've choreographed. We all danced from 5:30 until 10pm this Friday. I know, Friday brutal to make anyone work on a Friday, but fuck it was the only day. I still need one more girl to make it a full 6, but the director said he's going to audition more dancers for it too. As long as I had the dance so that he would have something to audition the girls with. I think he's been coming up with these idea along the way, based on my ability to finish the dance within a certain period of time. He'd better kiss my damn ass for this, cause it's hard work.

It was alot more difficult than I had expected. I had the dance in my head , with the 6 girls, but to put it into action took a whole new skill. I had to place my 3D version into reality. I wasn't organized in teaching the girls either. Next time though I'll know where I fucked up and what to improve. We only got through 75% of it, so I've gotta finish it up this week sometime. There was this one chick there who kept trying to change the moves. @ first I was flexible, cause I'm open to ideas for sure. By the end of the rehearsal I was ready to pull her hair out, cause she started to have a fucking problem with everything. That made me realize that I can't let anyone give too much input b/c it shifts the balance of power and you get side tracked. I mean I was and am the choreographer and I know what looks good and what doesn't. I think my curse (and it's a blessing too)is that I realize that the way MY body moves, to something, will always be different from the way others move. So I try to accomodate in order to make sure the piece looks good. But you know, I decided they're just going to have to try to do it my way, cause it's my vision and they ARE dancers. Little things here and there is fine, but I gave this chick an inch she tried to take 5 miles!!

Saturday I went to see 'Catch me if you can'...good movie!! I was completely wired all evening and into the night. My girlfriend and I were total nut cases. It was funny cause we went to get coffees first (like we needed them) and when we got back out to my car this guy had left a note on my windshield, telling me to call him. It was flattering and we laughed but he spelled two words wrong and his writing sucked. For some reason that's become a total turn off for me. My man has to have beautiful writing. I know it's going to sound petty, but he spelled 'short' wrong!! Anyone who can't spell 'short' may not be up to my level in certain areas...know what I mean? Ontop of that he never left his name...come on now.

My libido has totally returned in full force. I think I was suffering from some post tramatic stress bull shit a/f the ex. That and moving into my Grandmother's house...not a great recipe for horniness. Well, yesterday I felt my old self back to normal again. Now, do we all know what that means?? Well unless I am getting fucked, like all the time, I am going to need alot of ME time...and it's not 'me' time for my brain either. Somebody better tie my hands behind my back or something! Actually that would be more of a turn on for me...what the fuck am I talking a/b?!? HAHA!

Yesterady I took the day to do ALL of my laundry and watch movies. I picked up Jade and Lost and Delirious. Good movies. Jade was hard core dark and sinister and Lost and Delirious was tragic and sad. Shit! They both made deep impressions on me. I got one more, but I'm gonna watch it sometime this week...I was movied out by the time those two were done. I've been on this movie kick lately...go figure eh? What would ever do that to me?! Duh!

Love, CAT XXX