2002-09-20, 8:58 a.m.: another week gone by...

Life is a series of funny scenarios. I mean, when they're happening you don't quite realize how funny they really are. Sometimes it feels like hell. But, objectively it's all so fucking hilarious. The irony that surrounds every single situation. It's inevitable, I know that very well. I guess it's the very thing that is meant to keep you progressing forward. It's the reason things continue and evolve. I know that all too well. While I'm exstatic that I'm in this sense of realization...it's also fucked and twisted and thus I HAVE to sit back and laugh my ass off. B/c it never fails...it just never fails...never ceases to amaze me though. That's one good thing. Even though I know it's coming, I'm surprised every time. I believe Einstein chalked that up to 'insanity'. And some other guy said we live in the universe's mental institution. Fuck, did he have that so right!

I got a call already from the second audition I went to. I didn't have time to call them back b/c I got the message so late. I want to do it, but I don't want to commit myself to anything that I can't finish. As far as this play goes, if it is that they are calling me b/c they want me in the play I'm going to have a scheduling conflict. Plus, I'm still crossing my fingers for that movie role and if it comes up I'm taking it for sure. There's no question there.

Well, fall is certainly here...although the temperature feels more like summer. I've got those little green spiders livign in my car. Almost every night one drops down on it's web onto me. Normally I don't mind them and I'll leave them alone, but when I'm driving...to see them skitter acroos the window or my dash board or drop onto me is another story. I've almost driven into traffic trying to kill these guys...it's really fucking ridiculous. Yesterday I was on the highway and one dropped onto me and I had to swat the fucker away. It was straight infront of my face and I was going 120 kms.

I dreamt a/b my guy from QAF yesterday. We were fighting the whole time in my dream, just toatlly @ each others throats. I was in the process of guilt tripping him as I watched him getting weaker and weaker and then I was going to go in for the kill, when I woke up. Shitty! I was dissapointed, and you know when you wake up from those awesome dreams and you try to fall back asleep to continue it...I couldn't do it. He was just as hot in my dream you know.

Tonight is going to be my relaxing night. I've got the last day of the film festival tomorrow and the closing party. I'm only going to stay for a bit cause I really want to go dancing with my girls. I've been dying for some dancing and for some release. I haven't had sex in so god damn long that it's driving me mad. Dancing is a sililar form of release, you know. So is the gym but I've had to miss it alot b/c of these nights I've been working @ the festival. It really sucks. I-AM-SLOWLY-GOING-CRAZY. 1-2-3-4-5-6-FUCK!!!!!

Love, CAT XXX