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2002-09-12, 9:01 a.m.: hot hot hot...

Oh my fucking shit! Ended up yesterday night @ a meeting with my theatre group. My director is putting on a new show that incorporates children. It's all going to be live though, where we ask kids questions and see what funny shit they say. I think there's a segment of that and then there's two more segments where we'll do something else. It should be fun. I like kids and I think I can relate well to them so I'm going to check it out. If I bomb with them, I'll mc or be game show host...that's another part we could do. I kinda wish I could bring my 8 year old sister to audition for one of the kids...she'd be fantastic. She's really blunt and honest and she comes up with some funny shit. I think I'll ask her.

A/f the meeting I went to check out new boy#1's new car. Holy sit, what a mistake. He started grabbing me, my ass. Totally fucking with me. I was caught so off guard. Okay, I was totally playing with him too...pushing my ass into his dick and shit. Bastard started playing my game and I lost it. My concentration was fucked. I'm a complete slave to sex, with the right person, and I just collapsed. I forgot where I was, who I was talking to, what I was talking a/b. It took me a while to regain myself. I was wondering when he was going to grab me though...shit! I wanted him to be rough with me. I felt like I was in high school again...fucking a/r with the boys. It was fun. But, back to business...

Tonight it's work again for the film festival. I sometimes wonder if I'm doing enough work. If I'm going out to enough auditons. I mean, new boy#1 is always filming little parts in independants and shit. I feel as if I could be doing more, but @ the same time I want to pace myself so I'm not overwhelmed. I'm trying to balance it all. The fact that I work till 5pm every day sucks too...lucky bastard gets off @ like 3 or some shit. I have to get my resume to this guy @ the festival, but I'm not sure if the pic I have is good enough. I really want to give him a great head shot, but it's going to take me time to get one. I have to call him today and ask him if it's really that crucial to have a great pic. I'm really itching for an agent...I hope this works out. I just want to work @ what I love to do.

So apparently Mickey Rourke has been seen ALL a/r town the last week. He's the only celebrity whose been spotted everywhere. How come I haven't seen him?? If I ever bump into him, you know I'm asking for a kiss. Even if he does look like he's been hit by a truck (the high life has taken it's toll), he's still my Mickey. I'd love to work with him in a film.

I've got an upcoming audition where I have to have a southern accent. I've been practising for 3 days now. One day soon, when I have a spare moment, I'm going to get a tape to listen to. I want to have it down almost perfectly. I also want to prcatise an English accent and a N.Y. accent, cause for sure I'm going to be asked for those one day. Okay I just wrote that whole sentence and read along in my southern accent. It sounded pretty good. It's fucking up my writing though.

Love, CAT XXX

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