2002-07-15, 9:31 a.m.: CAT

I went through an old notebook of mine yesterday. My mother had some priests over to her house to celebrate the departure of her favorite 'father'. It was for a bbq and so I went. I've got to clean out my old room b/c she's having 2 kids stay over for the World Youth Day thing that's going on in T.O. I found some old poems and writings of mine and some letters that friends had written me. It was pretty funny to go back and see what kind of mind frame you had when you were 14. Apparently alot of my feelings are still very simialr to now. I was very in touch with my emotions and feelings, even if I didn't realize it then. I mean I was very aware of the dual aspect of my personality and it came out in what I was drawn to...and everyone though I was fucked. Well, shit some poeple still do think I'm fucked...it depends what side of me you see or get to see. But, isn't everyone 'fucked' in some way or another...yes? Yes, I think so.

So my sister, and S, and I sat @ a table by the pool eating and talking a/b sucking dick...while the rest of my family, and the priests, sat by the house eating. I wonder if they heard us going on...and on and on. I was asking if it was different to suck a dick that hadn't been circumcised. I mean it can't be that diff, but I've never had one so I was curious. S kept saying it was like a little jacket on a dick and I was laughing my fucking ass off. Funny shit.

I still haven't gotten my monologue book, and I need to perform my monologue tomorrow in class. I better get it today, otherwise I'm seriously fucked. I'm already 2 weeks behind in my monologue.

Love, CAT XXX