2002-07-05, 8:49 a.m.: holy fuck, I can't believe this shit...

Okay, what kind of fucking luck is this...I really can't believe it. So I was to go out with the new 'boy', he called me and we set up where we were going to go. He said he was going to start heading down to my area a/r 8. I'm all excited, but not too excited b/c I've learned my lesson re: that, and 30 mins later I get a call on my cell. I thought he was lost so I started to joke a/r with him. In the meantime he's explaining something to me, to which I had to say "Hold on, say that again'. Well. Didn't he get a fucking flat tire on the highway and was stuck on the shoulder. The end to my night flashed b/f my eyes, as he told me he'd do his best to change it (he's not much of a handy man)and then he'd call me once he was done. Depending on how late it was, we would get together or not. I figured that the night was still shot and well, I wouldn't even get to see him b/f he left for N.Y. He was great @ keeping me updated throughout the whole night...from the first time he called me, even when he had to do shit b/f coming down he kept me informed...which I like, b/c I hate being left up in the air...it drives me fucking mad.

He was pissed too a/b the whole night and he apologized which I thought was nice of him. I mean, it wasn't his fault that his tire blew...and anyways, things always work out like that. When it rains, it pours right. So, his friend (who played, with me, in the play) met him and picked him up so he could drop his car off @ his mechanics. On a positive, he's going to give him my number so that when they go to N.Y. to party and visit I can go with them. I love N.Y.!!! That would be fucking amazing.

Tomorrow I'm heading up to a ranch run by an old friend of mine. She's throwing a party and we get to go horse back riding. The last time I was there with her was probably 8 or 9 years ago, when I got grounded for a month a/f for going there @ night with her and these guys. I remember horse back riding being such a beautiful freeing experience...it gives me goose bumps, all over my body, just thinking a/b it. What I'm really dying to do is go out dancing, but that's going to have to wait for another w/e.

I have to get ahold of a couple of friends of mine. I need to see if any of them are thinking a/b moving or are looking for room mates. I'm going to seriously need to think a/b re-arranging my lifes' equation as far a money is concerned. I cannot go home and I need to find a place cheaper to live in. I think I'm going to give my car back and get a cheaper one, b/c I can't keep up with these payments. Alot of car manufactureres are selling 2002 models @ low low prices right now and I think that's what I'm going to have to look @. Life is much easier when I only have myself to worry a/b...let me fucking tell you. Things are not half as stressful as they use to be. Another option would also be to look into getting a part time job...maybe @ a club, or a bar or something. We will see. All I know is that I AM NOT MOVING BACK HOME. I don't give a shit if I have to hook myself. Okay, I'm going a little too far there...but you get the point. I know this one chick, who I really like...she was having problems with her room mate and wanted to get the fuck out of his palce last time I saw her. She actually mentioned that we should move in together when I told her a/b me moving out a while back. I would have too, except for the fact that I was already moving in with someone. I'm going to go visit her @ work tonight and talk to her a/b it. I'm on a mission here. Downtown is also an option. You know, I've noticed I have a knack for thinking and doing things under pressure. I get all riled up when I have something to strive for...it's a total rush for me. I need the rush.

Love, CAT XXX