2002-06-25, 9:18 a.m.: drunken interlude...

I feel cloudy today. I had trouble getting to sleep yesterday night. I must have been doing some weird shit in my sleep b/c I know I was tossing and turning...my brain was on over drive. Come 4:30, IN THE MORNING, my phone rings and I hear it right away cause I wasn't fully uncoscious. It's my ex on the phone trying to leave a message all drunk. I go to pick up the phone b/c I thought maybe he forgot his card or someshit and he was trying to get in. I was wrong. As soon as I picked up (which, I don't think he expected me to do)he had nothing to say. It took me awhile to get back to sleep a/f, b/c I thought he was attempting to shoot his mouth off on the answering machine while he was loaded. I was sort of upset too b/c he was drunk, acting like a child @ 4:30 in the morning...with the 'loser' who I know is going to be the end of him. But, this is not my battle to fight anymore...he needs to get up off his ass and do it himself, for himself.

I had my last scene study acting class, and we finished our scenes off. They turned out really good. I was proud and impressed with how she was able to help us systematically build the different aspects of the characters inside of us. My scene was sad and depressing and boring, but it felt so alive b/c of the steps I took to make myself really feel all the emotions that I was suppose to feel. Tonight I start my monologue class which will be my next step in my climb up the ladder. This is where I will find my monologue piece that I will use for all my auditions. This teacher was taught by Stella Adler in New York City. I think she's going to be a bitch, but I'm going to have to deal with it. We'll see how the first day/night goes. I'll fill you in on her later.

I was exhausted waking up this morning. Today is going to be another boiling hot day for us. It's very unusual for us to get this warm of weather in Canada, but I love it. Ah, now that my Monday night class is finished I can also get back to my gym routine. Although in this torturesome heat I don't know if I want to be sweating in it. The ventilation is so bad in the area where we do our work-out that for sure if you had asthma...you'd collapse. Or, if you had a heart condition you'd better not take the class...the air just doesn't circulate up there fast enough. So yeah, I'm off.

Love, CAT XXX