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2002-06-11, 8:55 a.m.: so proud of myself...

GAWD! For the part I'm playing, in class, I have to wear a fucking 'frumpy' dress. A long dress, that hits to a/b mid calf. I have to bring it in for next class. Now, the only thing that is even remotely close to that is a dress I owned when I was 15. It's got a beige mesh tank for the top and the botton is in alternating army colors. Now it would have been okay, except for the fact that I cut it and now instead of falling down to my ankles...it's up a/b mid thigh. Value Village here I come. I even have to pick up a cardigan to wear. How disgusting! I know, I know...it's only a character. I'm being a little brat right now.

Class went so much better than last week. I was so ready to pull my hair out. This time I amazed them with the picture I had painted of my character and those a/r her. I mean, I do it naturally...I have a pretty active imagination. But, if you formally ask me to technically do it, for some reason the whole technicality of it throws me right off. I end up saying 'Fuck, I don't know what she wants, but this is how I'll do it'. Well, it turned out right...cause to their surprise I just kept going and going and going. Like the fucking energizer bunny, I just created this whole picture for them. I'm always happy when I do well and I've been productive in something.

Tonight I'm going to go down to the gym and work out by myself. They've cut classes on Tuesday's and Thursdays for summer. I figure I check out those step machines. I can start when I want, and finish when I want. It's one of my only rest days so far and even though I'm not resting, I'm getting this in. Cause, like I've said b/f, if I don't keep active (strenuously) I get very miserable. I was thinking of going to take a dance class downtown, but I NEED something where I feel I'm pushing my muscles...in an esthetic kind of way. I'm not even sure if that made any sense there, but it sounded good.

My fridge is practically empty @ home and I don't get paid until Thursday. My boy/room-mate will not be getting a pay check until who knows when, so I'm kinda screwed...and not in a good way either. I'll have to live off the cans of campbell soup I've got here @ work. What I really need is my vegetables. I've been neglecting my veggie intake since I've moved out and it's not cool...@ all. Friday will be my grocery day...it HAS to be.

Love, CAT XXX

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