2002-05-29, 9:31 a.m.: MY fucking home...

Well. I was pleasantly surprised yesterday to find that my whole apartment had been moved a/r to how I wanted it. The garbage had ben taken out too. Dishes were still in the sink, but he got away with it cause of the rest. Now I feel so much more comfortable in there...it just felt more like home when I walked in. I was so happy. Tricky, tricky.

So I did the gym and got through it. I was totally babying my neck cause I didn't want to strain it again. Got home to watch the Leaf's game...where they fucking lost. SO, they're out! No more drinking nights @ my place for the game...till the World Cup soccer starts, of course. Luckily I don't spend much time @ home anyways, cause I would be fucking freaking out all the time if I did. It's enjoyable to have people over, but a/f a while you just get sick of it. Plus some people I just don't really want in my home for longer than an hour...but, you know, once they're there what do you do. Especially rude people. I fucking detest rude people. I can't stand anyone who has the audacity to be carelessly rude in the home of someone else. They will definately feel the rath of my anger...I'll tell you. I know, that may sound bad, but fuck, in my home I control the surroundings...or, rather, I need to control the surroundings.

It's my little sister's birthday today. She's 8 years old. I'm going to go see her a/f work today, give her her presents and celebrate her day a bit. This w/e we're having a birthday party for her too, with all her friends. She's so spoiled, it's sickening sometimes...but I love her soooo fucking much. God, I could squeeze her to death. She's my baby. It feels like that b/c for most of my last teenage years I looked a/f her while my mother was off doing her church activities and shit. I basically WAS her mother...or her rent-a-mother, both to her and to my other sister. So I've had my share of the mothering experience and I WILL NOT be doing that, or taking that road for a very looong time...if forever. No thank you. You can give them to someone else, cause I really aren't that good @ the whole mothering thing and shit.

Anyways, I'm going to go and do some work now.

A person was tied to you, then weighted down onto the impaling spikes or beaten with sticks. Yeesh. Go overboard much when you're upset?

What torture would you be?
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Love, CAT XXX