2002-02-11, 2:33 p.m.: quite an emotional weekend...

My weekend was tough...emotionally and physically. Physically, only b/c your emotions can really wreck havoc on your body, when they're not in high spirits. Someone I love very deeply thinks he may have a cancerous growth on his body. Now, I know I shouldn't worry this early in the game, but this is somebody who normally isn't the hypochondrial type. Me, myself, I am...but this person is not, definately. So this being true...I am worried. The spots have been visible for a while, but just now has one started to change. I was told to stay strong. He's not someone who would want any special treatment in a situation where he was sick. For that reason, I had to contain myself...which, I might add takes alot of my strength b/c I can be a very emotional person. I managed to contain myself to his face...but a/f I was a mess. It's tough for me to think deeply a/b this. All I know is that the mere glimpse of the thought brings me to tears. For the time being I don't think a/b the bad but focus on how I can help in this situation. We're going to go see a specialist tonight to see what's really going on. I really can't loose this person...I don't know what I'd do if I did. He has helped me in so many ways. I always have and always will do anything to keep him safe. He has been so many things to me, my teacher, my lover, my life's mentor...he will not leave me.

CLG aka CAT XXX